How to seduce someone:
My body hurts. Not just where the pie eating shits hit me, but it hurts everywhere. My body is tired of this game I’m being forced to play.
They put a gun in my mailbox. If I don’t do as they say, I doubt they’d hesitate to put a gun to the back of my neck.
I should start from the beginning. I saved a bank from being robbed which wasn’t much work actually since the robber was a phoney idiot.
A few articles about my heroism, a phone call from my mother and a few days later I got the first card.
An ace of diamonds, with three addresses written on it.
The first address was Edgar street. I went there at midnight, hid near some trees and saw a drunk man rape his wife. I watched this happen almost every night. I thought I was supposed to do something about it, and I wanted to too, but I knew I wouldn’t stand a chance in front of the big guy. I needed some time to get ready to help the wife and her kid.
The second address was …… I went there and saw an old woman, who I’ve grown to adore, live a lonely life. She is a widow waiting for her husband to come back ever since his death sixty years ago. When I first visited her with cake, she called me jimmy. She was darn happy and kept telling me that she’d known I’d come back. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. I’ve been visiting her ever since, pretending to be her husband and giving her the companionship she’s been needing.
The third address was …. I went there in the morning and a little after 5:30 am I saw a girl with long and lovely legs run barefoot. I went there each morning and saw her run until I finally decided to approach her. She is shy and sweet and she told me that talking makes her feel uncomfortable.
I saw her at the athletic field everyday before heading off to work and I went to the athletic meets on the weekends. When she ran on those meets, she didn’t run barefoot and that was wrong. She doesn’t run the same in those shoes as in the mornings. A couple of weeks later, I went to her house with a empty shoe box hoping that she’d get the message. She did.
At the next meet she ran barefoot, like she was supposed to. She got tripped over but she got up, kept running without any strain, and got to the front. She didn’t win, like always, but it wasn’t about wining at all. It was about running barefoot, about feeling alive, and my work there was done. Later that day, she thanked me and called me a saint.
After that I went back to Edgar street. Things were still the same. This time, as it was happening again, I managed walk to the door. But I didn’t step inside. The girl came at the door, and hugged me for trying to save them. She said goodbye and closed the door. I was so ashamed, I was worthless.
That night I got a phone call, the voice told me to check my mailbox. When I did as I was told, I found a gun. It had only one bullet. A bullet for the man from Edgar Street.
As much as I was terrified by the idea, it had to be done. I just didn’t understand why it had to be done by me.
I burrowed the cab the next day. I had a flask of doped vodka and the card ready for the night. I drove to Main Street and waited for the man. I offered him a free ride home. I happily agreed and drank the vodka I offered him later. By the time we reached the Cathedral he was passed out.
I hit him to wake him up and point the gun at him. I told everything I’d been thinking about when I was hiding near the trees opposite to his house. I him he deserved to die he started sobbing. I was about to kill right then but I started shaking and shivering and I knew I couldn’t do it. We both fell asleep and the next morning I made him swear that he’d stop raping his wife. And the I fired the bullet at the sun.
I hadn’t seen or heard anything about him for days. I thought maybe he’d killed himself. I met Sophie again. We talked for a bit.
Then last night when I got home from playing cards at Audrey’s, I could smell pie. I walked inside and saw a man in a balaclava sitting at my table eating my pie. Then I felt another presence in the room and I blacked out.
I woke up with one of the doorman’s slurps. The two men talked about shit. They hit me whenever my tone got “disrespectful”. They were in my flat, sitting on my chair, eating my pie and were complaining about me being disrespectful when I asked if the doorman was okay. We talked about useless shit some more. We’d become sort of like friends. Before they left, they took the gun, gave me an envelope, and hit the back of my neck again.
When I woke up I opened the envelope, and found a letter and another card. The ace of clubs. It read: Say a prayer at the stone of home. I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. I mean what in god’s name am I going to do with it.
The letter said that they were happy with what I’ve done till now. Well whoever they might be, they better be happy with what I’ve done. As much as I’m glad that I got to help Milla, Sophie and the Angelina and her mother, I don’t want to do this anymore. I am not special.
tell your daughter
you yell at her
out of love
you teach her to confuse
anger with kindness
which seems like a good idea
till she grows up to
trust men who hurt her
cause they look so much
i don’t think brown eyes get enough love it’s always those blue and hazel fuckers that get the praise and attention. you’re too afraid to look me in the eyes and face the chocolate-y abyss.
Wash away the bad thoughts,
Cleanse your body,
Put on some relaxing music,
Get in to bed,